A PRICKLY SUBJECT

It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine in Florida. (Just in case you were tempted...)

SLANDEROUS SEX

In Willowdale, Oregon, no man may curse whilst having sex with his wife. You may think she is a fat, frigid, ugly old twat - but you can't say it.

A PASSION FOR CARS?

In Clinton, Oklahoma, it is illegal to "molest an automobile". It is advisable to keep your hands on the wheel at all times and refrain from fiddling with knobs, caressing the leopardskin seat covers, or toying with the gearstick.

UGLY FACEISM

In Oklahoma, you risk a fine, arrest, or a jail sentence if you are caught making "ugly faces" at a dog. If you have an ugly face, it is therefore advisable to avoid dogs, as looking at them may not only cause offence to the dog, but also land you in the shit.

SOMETHING FISHY

It is illegal to catch whales in Oklahoma. In the unlikely event that you should come across one - as Oklahoma is land-locked, it is wise to ignore it. It is also advisable not to tell anybody that you saw one.

QUACK LAW

In Minnesota, it is illegal to cross state lines with a duck on your head. This is to stop citizens of other states stealing fashion ideas from stylish Minnesotans, who believe themselves to be world leaders in the very latest of houte couture.

CANINE CAVEAT

It is illegal for dogs to congregate in groups of three or more on private property in Oklahoma, without first obtaining a permit from the mayor. Presumably this is to prevent mafia-like gangs from forming and threatening the neighbourhood.